Wednesday, January 12, 2011

A Void Left Behind

For those who have already read my first blog, I appreciate you.... and the people who've cared to drop in a comment- "THANK YOU".
"Today, I sit whiling away the hours of my final working day in Satybums, yet the feeling of nostalgia for the four years spent is not that overwhelming as I expected it to be..  However lousy you might have been,yet you are soon-to-be my alma mater . The memory lane that I walked these years is not cobbled grey... There was Spring and Summer, and Autumn...... and Winter.. there was a giant kaleidoscope projecting the sky above,and I walked in its colors. As, I look up, the clouds of void and emptiness gather and down comes the drops from heaven and falls right under my eyes, only I guess, to conceal the glistening drops streaming down from my eyes."

Friday, December 31, 2010

On The Threshold of a Dream

It was a very ordinary day in November 2010. The weather, just a bit out of the ordinary- cold and that too in Chennai!
There was nothing to do, obviously owing to Satybum's awesome calender laid out for its unfortunate bondservants!! All that was left, was the mundane daily chores. But thanks to 2am movies and the unnatural chill, my am's and pm's had swapped themselves.
I had hoped at the start of the '08 July, that my roomie would at least inspire me out of my laziness, but he just turned out to be my guru. No complains though!........  :P
So, there I was at 4 pm wondering about my brunch and flipping through the Chennai Times.
Oh wait I forgot,  I should have mentioned a few things that happened before. Hey, now come to think of it, that part should have been the apt composition  for this post... AAAARRRRGGHHHHH
DO I HAVE TO DELETE THIS ENTIRE  THING AND START OFF AGAIN ?!????
(5mins pause)
Naaaaahhh... I guess that'll just make me postpone blogging to infinity...just a brief flipping through the past should work.....hmmm
what happened was this; I was desperately trying to finish off my syllabus for the next day semester exam, and that would be around 7pm of some first week date of September.
Now, some wise sms from a jobless person once said-
 "at the time of exams, every thing seems interesting and that includes staring at a blank wall itself"
and that happens to be very true!!
So, naturally my mind drifted to my wonderland sans "the talking rabbit" and "red queen".....
Considering, the usual ingredients of my wonderland (it definitely isn't Dungeons and  Dragons as my roomie thinks!), this one was quite different. I was surprised (later of course) that my thoughts concerned what i wanted to do in the future?!?
(those who feel drowsy already can take a walk, listen to music, eat something, chase a rabbit, pull your dog's tail, throw yourself from the fifth floor, get yourself treated and then RETURN BACK....thank you!)

Now, I was in my final Undergraduate year. My subject was full of potential but I tried and tried and tried still more, but just couldn't make it sound any interesting to me. So, I was on a mental hunt for quite sometime...
Most of my friends had forced themselves into a straitjacket but I definitely wasn't doing that. In this case, I was mighty impressed with my roommate. He knew what he wanted, and had his full-too interest in it.
I dunno how, but somehow something finally clicked.
At that moment, I didn't form a resolution but something was definitely taking shape and glowing in my happiness. My roommate heard of it and was surprised that i didn't realize that way back. I knew the reason - stereotype thought of my beloved nation and it's content with the usual rule, inmates.
Now now now I don't want my blog to turn into something exhibiting social correctness, hell no!! so , I'll just leave the reason very precise as I've already said.
It took me a few more weeks of research and i was pleased to find the jigsaw puzzle arranging itself perfectly.
However, one flaw did remain. "My parents".
I knew what was in my mind wouldn't synchronize with their's. So, i waited for the appropriate time to arrive.
My parents wanted me to get placed and so I did. As if the stars were all aligned well, the recruitment victory came in while my folks were at my place in Chennai.
If you consider my next move cunning or cheap or something similar then all i can say is "Guilty as charged!".
And for those who still haven't figured it out (sigh!)-
 I took the opportunity to convey my intentions for my future, to my ecstatic folks. They perhaps thought I was kidding but at least they nodded instead of blasting me off.   :)
So, this part was the brief flipping of the past (you can openly scoff on the word "brief").
Now here I was flipping through the newspaper and wondering about brunch!! The city special section caught my attention. I read closely.... staring at me was a scope to test my level of expertise in the thing I loved most, in the  thing that mostly framed my sleeping dreams, my waking dreams..... I saw a beautiful gateway....just like the moment tonight when I first start blogging... a time for everything to start anew, on the first few minutes of a New Year.....everything fresh, unexpected surprises in the path winding ahead.
I was and am, yet again, On the Threshold of a Dream.

P.S.- Those wondering what the hell I have in my mind about my future, can just wait for my next post....lots of calls to attend and many to make too.......Happy New Year everyone !!!